Am I that busy?

Wow.. I haven't blogged in months.

Updates..

...job getting easier.
...new house has been habitable for a few months.
...the area is great for weekend hikes, but I'm still not in the shape that I was a year ago.
...waiting for daylight savings to end (or is it start)?
...nothing beats weekend mornings on the porch with the l.a. times and coffee.

fall update

yes..

so.. my job became really really difficult. i worked about 70 hours a week in september and things are only starting to settle down.
i feel a lack of control sometimes...like i'm wasting time and not getting things done as they should be. i'm also very hard on myself and need to realize that it is a new job and there is a learning curve.
things are starting to settle down a bit, though.

err.. we are in escrow. the house is in a pretty boring area, but it doesn't matter because it needs a lot of work and we won't have time to go explore. it is close to two major bike trails, though. it is also connected to work via reliable transportation. cannot complain.

we are getting married in may (city hall) and we are taking an easy-going ten day vacation.
yeah.

um..i'm tired.

so.. it seems like i've found the perfect job. i'm now a site manager for jumpstart. j-start is an americorps-affiliated program that pairs college volunteers with low-income preschool children. throughout the school year, i'll train and support college students while they work on-on-one with their partner child to build language, literacy, and social initiative skills. i was a jumpstart volunteer in college and i matured a great deal through the experience.
i started a month ago and so far, i'm in love with the job. i just got back from a training in boston. i finally got to see a game at fenway. i enjoyed the city a great deal and i only wish that i had more time there.
i wanted to live in the college town to be closer to my job, but it is too far for the sig nif. it looks like we're going to buy a house at the halfway point.

well, i'm happy. the weekends are work-free and i wake up excited in the morning. i don't have that awful anxious feeling anymore.

woo!

double arrrgh

liminal beans for sure.

i resigned at 11:15 today. it is 1:19 and i still don't have a job. i am somewhat expecting to reject an offer today... the job is out of alignment with my mission in life. i won't feel great about being in a cramped office with underemployed and underpaid ivy league grads whose mission is to beef up gifted and talented services in public schools. i never liked those kids and i still don't like them. they are probably all republicans anyways. i am, on the other hand, expecting an offer within the week.
i'm hoping that offer will work out and that it will lead to a relocation by october.
i also hope that more people are foreclosed upon before october so that we can get a good deal on a 3 bd house, rent out one of the rooms, and pay the same amount in mortgage/taxes/insurance that we are for rent.
i really don't want to work and i hate money. today, i'll have to pay $150.00 to fix a broken window on j's car. i don't even like cars...or driving.

well, i'll try to trim the fat by:
-not buying books
-not buying convenience food
-not buying meals out for that 2x a month
-not buying...gasp...soda
-maybe cancelling the gym membership and using the h.s. gym, park, and freeweights instead.
-no more netflix.
-using the library for books, cd's, videos, dvds, etc.
-going to the bargain movies in pasadena.

better go.

no news

..on the job front. i'm getting pretty impatient and perhaps a bit depressed. i don't understand why i'm not getting hired by anyone..especially considering the fact that i've been a workoholic for the past six years. i get to work an hour before anyone else. i have gone over and beyond my duties. i've sponsored clubs, organized field trips, and initiated new programs. whenever the district needed anyone to author curricula, i was the go-to person.
i know that i don't interview well. i despite those "scenario" questions. i take time to think things through and i know that i don't come up with any impressive responses on the spot.
i just had my third jumpstart interview today. my second interview with i.e.a. in pasadena is tomorrow.
i'm just frustrated. i hate the fact that my boyfriend and all of his lazy friends don't have to work hard because they've inherited property. i hate the fact that i wake up every morning in a shitty apartment. this morning a poisoned cockroach was staring up at me. i hate the fact that i've done everything i've been told to do, yet i still fall short. i was told to study and work hard in school. i graduated summa cum laude. i had a job lined up before i graduated...with a so-called prestigious and highly regarded corps that hasn't done a thing for my current employment situation. i got a master's degree from the second best education graduate school in the country. i know that i sound stupid and bratty and that maybe i shouldn't feel so "entitled." i just feel bad that my parents sacrificed everything and that now i'm in this predicament. i don't come anywhere close to enjoying their standard of living. when they were my age they had 2 kids and a house. i don't feel that i have anything. i have a stupid boyfriend that can't commit to anything beyond renting shitty movies and eating and napping all of the time. i just feel like i deserve more. i just want to disappear sometimes.

Arrrgh

Update:

1. Riordan rejected me
2. Two interviews with the U.C. system later- rejected. I had to fly to both Oakland and Sacramento.
3. I just interviewed with Jumpstart and a non-profit in Pasadena. We'll see....
4. I may have an interview at L.B.C.C. I passed the first stage of the selection process. Hopefully, I'll move onto the second stage soon.

29

it is my birthday. it is 2:30 in the morning and i can't sleep at all. we had a picnic in the park today. i had to get there around 9 to claim the space and i think i just lost track of my caffinne consumption after being there for about 10 hours. a quick run down:
1) read some uplifting and not-so-uplifting news and just about all of miranda july's short stories
2) ate lots of fake meat
3) saw friends with kids
4) saw friends without kids
5) never got to ride bikes

yeah. i don't have any resolutions for age 29...or do i?

1) stop the endless cycle of want
2) get a cool(er) job
3) learn grantwriting
4) score some money for a good non-profit in need
5) ride my bike more
6) start running again...this time in moderation
7) don't eat processed stuff...its bad
8) be nicer
9) more hiking
10) more weekend trips
11) maybe buy a place. whatever. it won't make me happier.

job scoreboard:

1) I've applied to 45 jobs
2) New Teacher Project- Interviewed/Rejected
3) Teach for America- Interviewed/Rejected
4) The Riordan Foundation- Interviewed/?
5) Trash for Teaching-Interviewed/?
6) University of California- Interview on Wednesday

This is boring...