double arrrgh

liminal beans for sure.

i resigned at 11:15 today. it is 1:19 and i still don't have a job. i am somewhat expecting to reject an offer today... the job is out of alignment with my mission in life. i won't feel great about being in a cramped office with underemployed and underpaid ivy league grads whose mission is to beef up gifted and talented services in public schools. i never liked those kids and i still don't like them. they are probably all republicans anyways. i am, on the other hand, expecting an offer within the week.
i'm hoping that offer will work out and that it will lead to a relocation by october.
i also hope that more people are foreclosed upon before october so that we can get a good deal on a 3 bd house, rent out one of the rooms, and pay the same amount in mortgage/taxes/insurance that we are for rent.
i really don't want to work and i hate money. today, i'll have to pay $150.00 to fix a broken window on j's car. i don't even like cars...or driving.

well, i'll try to trim the fat by:
-not buying books
-not buying convenience food
-not buying meals out for that 2x a month
-not buying...gasp...soda
-maybe cancelling the gym membership and using the h.s. gym, park, and freeweights instead.
-no more netflix.
-using the library for books, cd's, videos, dvds, etc.
-going to the bargain movies in pasadena.

better go.

no news

..on the job front. i'm getting pretty impatient and perhaps a bit depressed. i don't understand why i'm not getting hired by anyone..especially considering the fact that i've been a workoholic for the past six years. i get to work an hour before anyone else. i have gone over and beyond my duties. i've sponsored clubs, organized field trips, and initiated new programs. whenever the district needed anyone to author curricula, i was the go-to person.
i know that i don't interview well. i despite those "scenario" questions. i take time to think things through and i know that i don't come up with any impressive responses on the spot.
i just had my third jumpstart interview today. my second interview with i.e.a. in pasadena is tomorrow.
i'm just frustrated. i hate the fact that my boyfriend and all of his lazy friends don't have to work hard because they've inherited property. i hate the fact that i wake up every morning in a shitty apartment. this morning a poisoned cockroach was staring up at me. i hate the fact that i've done everything i've been told to do, yet i still fall short. i was told to study and work hard in school. i graduated summa cum laude. i had a job lined up before i graduated...with a so-called prestigious and highly regarded corps that hasn't done a thing for my current employment situation. i got a master's degree from the second best education graduate school in the country. i know that i sound stupid and bratty and that maybe i shouldn't feel so "entitled." i just feel bad that my parents sacrificed everything and that now i'm in this predicament. i don't come anywhere close to enjoying their standard of living. when they were my age they had 2 kids and a house. i don't feel that i have anything. i have a stupid boyfriend that can't commit to anything beyond renting shitty movies and eating and napping all of the time. i just feel like i deserve more. i just want to disappear sometimes.

Arrrgh

Update:

1. Riordan rejected me
2. Two interviews with the U.C. system later- rejected. I had to fly to both Oakland and Sacramento.
3. I just interviewed with Jumpstart and a non-profit in Pasadena. We'll see....
4. I may have an interview at L.B.C.C. I passed the first stage of the selection process. Hopefully, I'll move onto the second stage soon.